Life with Madi

Something I've struggled with a lot as a college student is the notion of going home for the weekend.  Social cues and media examples always show how teenagers are supposed to hate their parents and, once they fly the coop, never want to come home again.  This, I say, is ridiculous. 

I love my parents.  My sister is my best friend.  This is why last year, when I spent over three months at a time away from the people that I loved the most (I was in Colorado for school, my family in Texas- such is the life for any out-of-state student) it was a wake-up call for me, but a much needed one.  I learned how to live by myself and I made a few close friends and basically, just kept myself busy.  I got a job at the newspaper.  I got involved around campus.  I learned to love my school.

Now, though, it's so much different.  My parents are here, and the friends I choose to spend time with these days are few and far between (don't pity me- I'm not spending my nights curled up on my bed alone, crying myself to sleep out of loneliness.  I've got my people but just not as many as I would prefer).  My weekends are a little bare, so lately, I've been taking the 2 hour trip between FoCo and Parker and using the weekends to spend time with my family. 

I do this a lot, and one weekend, it really got to me.  I stayed in my apartment and when my mom urged me to come spend the day with her and the family just for a Sunday, I felt wrong.  I looked back on all the interactions I'd ever had with friends where they mentioned how terrible it was to constantly head home on the weekends, and what was 'normal' and 'right' and 'good'.  Needless to say, I got in my own head. 

This weekend, I may stay and I may go, the choice is kind of up in the air.  But the fact of the matter is- I realized that the only person who really cares how often I go home on the weekends or not is me.  I need to stop judging myself for things that, in the end, don't really matter at all.  So I want to spent time with my family.  Big whoop.  I may be lame and the most nontraditional college student in the world for that reason but honestly, I don't really care. 

This uncaring attitude of mine may not last for long and I may go back to my old ways of constantly self-judging, but the fact of the matter is is that right now I need to realize that nothing in today's society should be considered 'normal' or 'right'.  Everyone is different and no one has the exact same college experience.  Some people go home on the weekends, and some people party until their brain hurts. 

And you know what? I'm going to do both.